Change of Heart

            Right now, it may almost seem as if I am the most social, and welcoming person out there, but I haven’t always been this way. People who know me well know that I have made a 360 change in terms of personality. It all started when I decided to move out to New Jersey to take a new job at a newspaper printing company. In order for this to happen, I had to let go of a certain part of my life; my mother.

As I loaded the last of my bags into my rusty old truck, my mother gazed at me with wide, teary eyes. In a shaky voice, she whispered, “I guess this is it Flora.” I answered back, “I’ll miss you mom. Take care of yourself.” I gave her mother a long hug, and climbed into my truck. I took one last look at the house where she grew up. My frail mother stood waving on the porch, in her faded, and raggedy housework clothes. As I stared at this house, all of my childhood memories suddenly flooded into my mind. I played them in my mind over and over again. I could almost hear the sounds of dishes breaking, and the countless slaps. I knew moving to New Jersey was the best option for my own future, but I couldn’t help but feel guilty about leaving my lonely mother. I felt a tear crawl down my cheek as I started up the truck. I slowly drove out of the small neighborhood, and onto the highway.  

I loved to drive ever since the day I first stepped on a gas pedal. Whenever there were problems, I jumped into my old truck and drove. I loved being able to steer the car whichever way I desired. I turned on the radio, and a bubbly lovers’ song blasted through the speakers. Disgusted, I quickly switched the station until I came across a soothing classical song.

It was already 5p.m when I arrived at my new home. From the outside, it looked very nice. The house was a one story white house. It was enclosed within a fence, and there was a small garden. As soon as I stepped into my new house, I felt a feeling of excitement wash over me. I sat down in front of my window and watched the sun fade into the horizon. This was the start of a new chapter in my life. I had a whole new journey ahead of me, and I was on the right path to my dream. As I lay in bed that night, I had my whole future planned out in my brain. First, I would go to work the next day, and prove my worthiness. Then I would continue to work up the ladder of success, and eventually get promoted to the chief executive position. By then, I would have a steady income and have saved up enough money to afford my dream house. My dream house was three stories high, and had three rooms. One room would be for sleeping, the second room would be for working, and the third room would be for my art. I got lost in my thoughts and before I knew it, I woke up to the sound of cars honking.

Excited for my first day at my new job, I quickly got ready. I carefully chose my outfit: a white blouse, and black trousers. Then, I quickly gobbled down my breakfast and rushed out of my house. I wanted to be early to show my eagerness. When I arrived at my workplace, I was led into my boss’s office. My boss’s name was Ellen Chyler. She was the perfect image of my ideal future self. She had her own humongous office, she was confidant and poised, and everyone around her respected her. Ms. Chyler led me to my cubicle, and I got to work immediately. I didn’t even take the time to get to know the other employees around me, and I didn’t even want to get to know them. I was so determined to make it to the top as soon as possible.

I can’t quite remember my first few days at work because they were all just a blur. I only focused on working for the entire day. However, during my second week, other employees around me began to socialize with me. At first, I thought it was pretty weird of them to talk to me. One of them said “Hi Flora! How do you like it here?” His name was Tom. I was so surprised because he called me by my name. I was unaware that people at my workplace even knew my name. I also felt bad for not knowing his name. “Hi, it’s fine. Sorry, what is your name?” I felt embarrassed, but at the same time I didn’t care that much about him. “I’m Tom. Nice to meet you,” Tom firmly shook my hand. He also added that if I ever needed any help with anything, I could ask him. This was a very interesting offer from him. Even though we had just met, he was offering to give me assistance in anything. It was hard to admit at the time, but it actually felt good that someone wanted to help me out.

Tom and I grew closer and closer. In the beginning, it was difficult to become friends with him because I had never actually had true male friends. However, as each day passed, we naturally became friends. We had several commonalities and similar interests, and we both enjoyed each other’s company. By my first month at my new job, I was thrown into an inner turmoil. I felt attached to Tom, but at the same time, I was committed to work. Because I had worked so diligently, Ms. Chyler was ready to promote me to a higher position. However, if she promoted me it would ruin my friendship with Tom because I would be moved to a different office, 40 miles away.

(1010 words) 

Weblog 17: Cassius and Brutus

              Cassius is suggesting that Caesar does not deserve to be a king. Cassius realizes that Brutus has been acting a bit odd. He takes advantage of Brutus’s odd state to influence him. Cassius continuously suggests that Caesar is weak. He boosts Brutus’s ego by complimenting him and telling him that he has “hidden worthiness into your eye” (781). Cassius believes that both Brutus and himself were born as free and Caesar. In fact, he believes that they are both stronger than Caesar. Cassius does not think that Caesar should be the king of Rome, and he believes that Caesar is too weak. He shows his opinions through a few of his anecdotes. For example, he tells Brutus about the time when he went to a river with Caesar, and Caesar became too weak to swim. Caesar cried “Help me, Cassius, or I sink!”” (783), and he also referred to Caesar as “a sick girl” (783) because he had a fever once when he was in Spain. It amazes Cassius that “A man of such a feeble temper should So get the start of the majestic world, And bear the palm alone” (783). Cassius shares these two incidents with Brutus to influence him to think against Caesar.

            Additionally, Cassius tells Brutus that people are the “masters of their fates” (784). In other words, he means that people are in charge of deciding their own fates.  He wants Brutus to step up against Caesar. Cassius talks about how Brutus’s name and Caesar’s name both seem equally heavy and important, but he wonders why Caesar’s name has more power than Brutus’s name. He seems to hate walking “under his huge legs” (783) and bowing down to him.

Cassius wants Brutus to step up to Caesar because he thinks Caesar is too weak to rule. Brutus seems as if he is slightly influenced by Cassius's speech. (312 words)

Weblog 16- Catcher in the Rye Holden

A shallow analysis of Holden from The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger, may lead to the conclusion that Holden is a misanthrope and a hypocrite. Despite the fact that he shows and possesses the qualities of a misanthrope and a hypocrite, I think that there is a deeper meaning behind his phony façade.

There is a deeper reason as to why Holden hates people so much. He has been hurt by various incidents in the past such as the death of his brother, Allie. Allie’s death has an extremely large impact on Holden. It influences him throughout the whole novel. He was unable to cope with the death of his close family member, and as a result, he isolates himself from other people. This kind of behavior makes him appear like a misanthrope. In addition, when Mr. Antolili touches Holden’s head while he is sleeping, Holden runs out of Mr. Antolini’s house and says that “that kind of stuff’s happened to me about twenty times since I was a kid. I can’t stand it” (Salinger 193). This quotation shows how Holden has had horrible childhood memories. I think that those memories affect his personality and the way he interacts with people in the book.

Throughout the whole novel, Holden continuously criticizes people of being “phony” even though he is a phony himself. This is a representation of his hypocrisy. A deeper look into this hypocrisy can reveal that Holden is desperately in need of companionship. He always claims that he wants to call Jane Gallagher, but he never actually does call her. This in itself is hypocritical because he says one thing but does something else. He is crying out for companionship, but his outer hypocrisy and misanthrope self are shadowing his inner

Weblog 15: Museum Significance

What is the sgnificance of  Holden’s claim that he loves the museum?

Holden, from J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, claims that he loves the museum. He loves the museum because that museum never changes. “The best thing, though, in that museum that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody’d move…Nobody’d be different. The only thing that would be different would be you” (Salinger 121). Holden seems to like things that don’t change. The displays in the museum are frozen and unchanging. Holden wishes to live in a world similar to the museum. He wants a simple, uncorrupted, and unchanging world. His love for the museum reflects his hatred for the constantly changing and unpredictable world.

It also seems as if he wants to be able to judge the museum displays without being judged by them. He hates how in the real world, phony people are constantly judging him.

            After telling the readers about how much he loves the museum, Holden suddenly decides not to go in to the museum. This was a strange twist in the story. When I first read this part, I was confused. It got me to think carefully about Holden’s actions, and I realized that Holden was starting to change. Right before arriving at the entrance of the museum, Holden comes across some kids play on a seesaw. He helps them play by pushing one side of the seesaw, but the kids seem like they don’t want Holden around. I think that this incident impacted Holden. He is slowly realizing that the simple, unrealistic and static child world is not a world in which he belongs. As a result, he decides to not go into the museum.

            Holden claims that he loves the museum because of its unchanging nature. Holden seems to idealize this kind of frozen world. However, he begins to change as he slowly realizes that his idealistic world is no longer for him. 

Weblog 14:Catcher in the Rye Cover

This is a fake cover of The Catcher in the Rye that I illustrated. I decided to include pictures of the mitt and rye because they seemed like two important ideas in this novel. 

First of all, the catching mitt seems to have had a significant purpose. The mitt belonged to Holden's brother, Allie. Allie was one of the few people whom Holden truly respected and loved. Also, the title of the novel is The Catcher in the Rye. Titles usually allude to important themes and ideas in a novel. In addition, Holden tells his younger sister, Phoebe, that he wants to become a catcher in the rye when he grows up. He wants to stand near the edge of the end of the cliff and save kids from running off of the cliff. Holden says “Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around – nobody big, I mean – except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d be the catcher in the rye and all” (Salinger 173). I interpreted this as him meaning that he wants to save innocent minds from entering the corrupted adult world. The rye represents the innocent child world and the end of the cliff represents entering the corrupt adult world. Holden believes that adults are phony. The only people who he appreciates throughout this novel were either children, extremely kind people, or religiously affiliated people. Holden wants to be a catcher, like the catching mitt.

         In conclusion, I drew the catching mitt, and rye in order to represent the catcher in the rye. 

Weblog 13: Catcher in the Rye (Ch.1-9)

Holden, from The Catcher in the Rye thinks completely different things from what he actually says. In other words, his inner monologue and outer monologue are different. There are many examples of this throughout the book. 

I think that the significance of this dissonance is that it reveals how Holden is unable to express his true thoughts and feelings. He feels that he always needs to lie in order to please the people around him. This is especially revealed in his encounter with Mrs. Morrow. He continued to “chuck the old crap” (Salinger 54). Mrs. Morrow is the first person in this novel that Holden seems to actually appreciate and like. The fact that he continues to lie to her shows us readers that Holden thinks that the only way for him to interact and talk to people is by lying. I think that in a way, Holden is afraid to show his true self. He is afraid that people will dislike him more if he tells people his true inner monologue.

Holden also seems to enjoy using sarcasm. During his visit to Ackley’s room, he sarcastically calls Ackley a prince. I think that Holden uses sarcasm to “appear” tough. Instead of showing that he is hurt by Ackley’s lack of care, he continues to call Ackley a “goddam prince” (Salinger 50). Holden’s lying and sarcasm also make him a hypocrite. He is continuously calling other people “phonies” because they are fake. However, Holden it just as fake by always lying to people and not showing his true inner feelings.

In conclusion, Holden’s inner and outer monologues are extremely different. They are almost opposites of each other. A major example of this is when Holden encounters Mrs. Morrow on the train. He cannot stop lying. His lying also makes him a hypocrite. He goes around calling other classmates and people phonies, when in reality, he is a phony as well. 

Comin Thro' the Rye Reflection

The poem “Comin Thro’ the Rye” written by Robert Burns was very difficult to understand. It hard to understand because it utilized an interesting kind of Irish English which contained words that I was not familiar with. For example, words such as weet, draigl’t, gin, glen, warld, and ken were some words that modern Americans are not familiar with. However, after analyzing this poem with my classmates and discussing the difficult words, I was able to grasp the idea of the poem, and I was also able to form a picture of the poem in my head. 

I think that this poem is about a girl named Jenny who is going through a difficult time in her life. Burns describes her as a weet, poor body. Wet could signify Jenny’s tears. Also, “she draigl’t a ‘her petticoatie. Comin thro’ the rye!” I think this means that Jenny dragged her petticoat through the rye. The word “drag” has a negative connotation, so maybe the petticoat represents her burdens. The third stanza in this poem made it seem as if Jenny had engaged in sexual activity. “Gin a body meet a body” sounds like Jenny has met someone new, and “Gin a body kiss a body” makes it sound like they have slept together. 

The punctuation that Burns uses throughout the poem give an even clearer idea of the picture that he is trying to create, and it also shows the author’s point of view. For example, the question mark after the word “ken” makes it seem as if the author is questioning the world. He is taking Jenny’s side and in a way, defending her. Also, there is always an exclamation mark after the phrase “comin thro’ the rye”. This emphasizes the phrase. That phrase also happens to be the title of the poem. It is a very significant phrase.